The Tug on My Heartstrings.

      Has it really been almost two months since I've posted something? Shame on me! Truth is, until now, I had nothing to say. There is a part of me that has just been so unsatisfied with a lot of things in my life, and I've let it get the best of me. Lucky for you, I'm done moping and whining about it! 

      In two days, I start my junior year of college. I really can't believe that I'm already halfway done with my undergrad time at LSU! This place has been so good to me, and the longer I'm here, the more I understand why people love this place for decades after they've graduated. I can't wait to see what this year has in store for me. There are so many opportunities I can hardly stand it!

      So, what inspired me to post tonight, you ask? Oh...you didn't ask? Too bad. Earlier, a friend and I were talking about life in Jamaica and how much better it seems than life here. The people we spend most of our time with there have no family, no possessions, and no chance of ever living an independent life again (if they were one of the few to live independently before). How can we live in one of the most, if not the most, prosperous countries in the world and still feel so empty inside? It's probably because we're seeking out the wrong things. While I was thinking about Jamaica, two things came to mind. First, this picture:

Have you ever seen anything more perfect than that? Immediately after I looked at this picture, I thought about this:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

      If those two things don't go together, then I don't know what does. Each and every day, we should challenge ourselves to become the kind of love spoken of in this terribly misunderstood Bible verse. This is not about man's love for a woman but about God's love for his creation. Although we will never be able to achieve this perfect love, we should strive to get as close as possible. We should be able to say, "I am patient, I am kind. I am not envious, I do not boast, I am not proud," and so on. I don't know about you, but that's not something I can honestly say very often. Tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to challenge myself to living this out as I'm surrounded by people who are not typically present in my comfort zone, and I can't wait to see what they're going to teach me. Later!

Post-Jamaica Life.

      I can't believe that one month ago today, I was on my way home from Kingston. I was so ready to eat some red meat, and my feet were finally returning to a size that allowed me to wear more than just flip flops again. Life since then has been crazy busy, but I've loved every minute of it! Here's a little taste of what I've been up to.

LSU Softball made it to the World Series!
      When I got off the plane in Miami, I was dying to find out if they'd made it past regionals. As soon as I got on the internet, I saw an article saying they were headed to Missouri. That meant they'd made it to supers! I would have rerouted my New Orleans flight to Missouri right then if I could have! Instead, I had to settle for watching the series at home. Before I knew it, they were celebrating a Super Regional victory and heading to Oklahoma City for the first time in eight years. There was no way I was going to miss that, so me, my mom, my brother, and my road trip buddy Celia packed up the car and headed on a little impromptu vacation to Oklahoma. It was Wednesday, and we had to be back by Friday night for a wedding, but the 20+ hours of traveling didn't even phase us.
      I didn't tell Alex we were coming, and she claims to this day that she was totally surprised.  It was so great to watch them compete in one of the most exciting games of their lives, and I'm so glad we made the trip up. They won one game and lost two, and the fact that they finished as a Top 10 team still blows my mind. Softball is still one of my least favorite sports, but I would go to every LSU game if I could. I mean I've got to have something to talk about when I'm hanging out with those crazies!

ASA Hall of Fame Park. So awesome!

Hayley got married!
      I still can't believe this finally happened! I think we've all been waiting for this day for years. It's crazy that my first good friend has gotten married. Doesn't this start a chain reaction or something? The wedding was at St. Joe's in Rayne, and the reception was at some beautiful place in the middle of nowhere in Iota. Hayley and Cory looked so happy the entire time, and I was just so happy for them. If I do decide to have a wedding that actually involves guests, I hope it's a lot like hers. That reception was probably the most fun party we've ever been to!

Reunited and it feels so gooooood.

Hayley amazes me everyday. I know I definitely couldn't handle raising a child, much less raising a child while staying in school, getting good grades, and doing what it takes to get into dental hygiene school. All that endurance training as a kid sure paid off!

Seriously, could she be any more beautiful?

Summer school started.

      This has honestly turned out to be one of the worst decisions ever! I spend my mornings in class, my afternoons at work, and then I come home and turn down all offers to hang out because I have to study. It feels nothing like summer! Yes, I'll be happy to have this class out of the way in two weeks, but there are about a million other things I'd rather be doing with my time right now. Lesson learned! At least I have Hannah here to endure the misery with me.

      Admittedly, life has been weird since getting back from Jamaica. There are so many things I want to do, but I feel so tied down by so many things. I hate it! I feel like a sick child who is watching everyone else play outside. I want to be overseas or at least on the other side of the Mississippi River with all of my friends. Once school is over, I have plans to do all kinds of stuff. Hopefully one of those things is a last minute vacation with my bro to somewhere exciting! We'll see. Until then, you'll have to deal with my boring rants. Later!

   

Jamaica, Part IV.

      I've loved reliving this trip as I've written about it, and I'm so sad this is the last entry. I'm ready to go back!

Days 9 and 10
      We used Day 9 as a day of silent reflection, so from 9am until about 6:30pm, we hardly spoke. You can imagine that I almost lost my mind, but I'll admit I definitely needed to shut my mouth up so I could listen to my heart for a while.
      After spending most of the day reading from the Bible and napping (it was so hard to stay awake!), I went to confession for the first time in...let's just say ages. It's always been such a chore to drag myself to the confessional when I need to, and every time I finally do, I just want to slap myself for waiting so long. So many people are quick to say that you don't need to go to confession when you can just talk to God about it whenever you want, but there is something so special about being in the confessional and feeling your sins completely lifted off of your shoulders. It's so hard to explain, but it's one of the best feelings in the world! Asking God for forgiveness outside of the sacrament just isn't comparable at all to me.
      That night, we had our last big dinner with the brothers on the patio.  Caroline, Garrett, Adele, and I sat with Father Hayden, one of the first brothers to join Fr. Ho Lung.  He is so crazy!  At one point, he casually told us how he had been kicked out of India three times. We laughed because we thought it was a joke, but he was serious! When you think about Catholic brothers, especially MOPs, you don't think of men who hide from the law, overstay their visas, and sneak people in and out of countries. That's exactly what they do though! If I could have dinner on that patio every night with those brothers, I'm pretty sure I'd never see another sad day.
      The next day, we spent the morning cleaning the house before leaving for the airport. Around noon, we hopped in the back of the "air conditioned" bus, meaning the open air cattle truck, and headed to the airport. Before I knew it, we were back in New Orleans and headed for the capital city. Brother Elijah jokingly told us to go home for the weekend and come back on Monday. Little did he know we all would have done just that if we could have!

      I don't even know if there are words to describe how much the people of Jamaica mean to me. They've changed me in ways that I didn't know I needed to be fixed, and they've shown me a love that I don't think I'll ever find elsewhere. They've taught me to be patient, to be kind, and to love without reservations. They've taught me how to close my selfish mind and open my thirsty heart to God so that He can use me as His instrument. Through them, I have learned how to be truly happy and to entrust my life and my future to a man that I can't even see. The peace I feel on my heart when I'm there is something that I'm constantly striving to find back home, but it's just so much harder. I have every intention of going back to Kingston at least once a year for as long as possible, and I hope that my friends and family will be able to join me sometime and have their lives changed as well. I promise you, if you spend even one day with the brothers and residents of Missionaries of the Poor, you'll never look at anything in your life the same way again.

"The call to serve the poor is an invitation to happiness." - Fr. Richard Ho Lung

     

Jamaica, Part V.

Day 7
      On this day, we got to choose which center we wanted to go to, so I chose to go to the Lord's Place. Before we went to work, we got to go to Holy Innocence, the newest center that's been set up to give women an alternative option to abortion. A few years ago, Jamaica was trying very hard to make abortion legal across the whole country. Father Ho Lung protested, and when Parliament asked him what his plan was, he came up with this. Here, the six Sisters of Charity take care of mothers and their babies from pregnancy until about three months after birth. The babies can stay as long as the mother needs, but after three months she must go out and find housing for herself so that they can free up room for new mothers. Throughout their pregnancies, the women are educated on how to take care of their babies, and when the children are born, they're baptized Catholic. So far, they have saved four babies, and there are two more pregnant mothers coming soon! On Tuesdays, the sisters offer free ultrasounds to any women that want to come, and on Thursdays, they host a general health clinic. Apparently, 50+ people show up for each one every week. Oh yeah, this all started six months ago. It's insane how fast the Lord is working here! When we got to Holy Innocence, we were greeted by Sister Joanne, the first sister, and she gave us a talk about the center and her calling. Everything she said touched my heart. At one point, she talked about how God always has the last laugh. Amen Sister!! I'm so glad that God brought her and Fr. Ho Lung together for this reason. They're doing amazing things for the unborn in Jamaica!
      After our tour of Holy Innocence, we headed out to the centers for the day. We spent the morning doing our usual tasks of cleaning the floors and faces after breakfast, and the rest of our time was spent just hanging out with the residents.  In the afternoon, I spent some time on the HIV/AIDS side of the center playing Parcheesi and chatting with the residents. It breaks my heart knowing that these people are here mainly because they have been outcast from society. In Jamaica, HIV and AIDS are seen as just as deadly as the plague! One woman, Ms. Cheyenne, talked to me about the time she spent in places like Italy and France. She even lived in New Jersey for a while! I can't even imagine going from that kind of life to life at the Lord's Place.

Ms. Joyce and her friend - HIV/AIDS residents.

Day 8
      This day was our last day of work.  I definitely wish we had a few more! After a breakfast of watermelon, unleavened bread with PB, and spaghetti (yes, that's all accurate), I headed to Jacob's Well with Caroline, Mallory, and Sarah. Jacob's Well was the first center I ever went to, so I knew I had to end my trip there. Those women just have a crazy hold on me! When we got there, we were assigned to brush teeth and apply lotion - the typical morning tasks. I asked one lady if she'd like to brush her teeth, and she nodded yes and proceeded to to dig in her shirt. I thought she had an itch that just couldn't wait, but all of a sudden she pulled out this little package. I was totally clueless until she unwrapped it and held in her hand...her teeth! After unwrapping them, she gave me a huge gummy smile and laughed, "I don't have any real teeth!" It was definitely one of my favorite moments of the entire trip.
      When we went upstairs for prayer and lunch, we started to hear these reallyyyy loud noises. I can't lie, it definitely sounded like a jet was about to fly right into the room. Two of our girls thought we were being bombed and started to pray and cry, and all of the local Jamaica girls got a big kick out of that!  As it turns out, this day was the Jamaican Labor Day, and the jets were doing an air show all day. After lunch, snack time, and a serious roach attack, we went outside to wait for our ride, and all hell broke loose. One of the residents went at another one twice her size with a spoon and started beating her, so the big one smacked her as hard as she possibly could in the head with her hand. The spoon-weilding one immediately started throwing a huge fit, and the brothers had to drag her into the dorms, pretend to lock it, and give her TicTacs to calm her down. And that was their second fight of the day! That poor lady was still in a fit when we left ten minutes later. The brothers have to deal with some crazy stuff sometimes!
      After we got home, we had a pretty chill afternoon and evening until after dinner.  Brother Rey and Brother Elijah had planned a movie night, and let's just say their movie choices were a little different than what any of us would pick! First, we watched the Fr. Ho Lung and Friends concert DVD, and that gave us all a really good laugh. It's like...really corny music videos produced in the 90s. After that, we watched a short documentary about MOP that airs on EWTN. I hope I see it at home sometime. It would be so awesome to get to see some of the beloved residents and brothers on American TV! Our last video of the night was this 3 hour long movie in some other language about the life of Saint Moscati. Okay, as weird and awful as it sounds, it was really good! We had to stop watching at a really sad part, and we all still want to finish it!

Parcheesi at the Lord's Place.

Jamaica, Part IV.

Day 5
      We finally got to go to Sunday mass at Bethlehem! After a quick breakfast, we headed to the different centers to get the able residents ready for church. I was but in charge of a beautiful little girl named Felissia. I wish I had a picture of her! At first, I wasn't sure she knew what was going on, but then she gave me the prettiest smile I've ever seen. I dressed her in her Sunday best, and then we headed to church with Chrissy and her little friend.  We sat with Bethany, the ring leader from Lord's Place, in the front row of the church, and we took care of most of the little ones who were in wheelchairs and strollers.  The Caribbean mass is so upbeat and exciting.  If only America would take a hint! It's so hard to stop yourself from singing their Alleluia and clapping your hands when you get back to the states.  When it's time to bring up the offerings, many of the people from around town walk up and offer whatever they've got.  For most, it's a bag of mangoes or vegetables.  Honestly, it brings tears to my eyes every time I even think about it.  Why do I find it so hard to give some of what I've got when these people are giving everything they possibly can? Maybe I'm the one who needs to take a hint.
      After Mass, we had lunch with the brothers of Sacred Heart.  Before we were able to eat, we had to perform two very unpracticed songs for the brothers. We didn't sound as awful as expected, but some more practice definitely would've helped! As I was talking with one of the brothers over a meal of, believe it or not, chicken and rice, he said, "The more we suffer, the happier we are." We both kind of laughed at this, and agreed that it sounded crazy but was so true. There's a catch though. If we embrace our sufferings and count on God to take care of us, we'll eventually get past our troubles and feel the inner peace and inner joy we seek so desperately. When Brother said inner peace, I found myself smiling. It's as if he knew that was something I had struggled with and prayed so much about!
      After lunch, we headed back home for an afternoon of rest. Later, we got to have some sharing time, and I was lucky enough to be in a group led by Brother Elijah. After we had all shared, he told us the story of his first day in the centers. It's so comforting to hear that even the brothers struggle to adjust at first. When you're around them, it seems like everything comes so easy to them! After dinner, Bro. Elijah told us that he has to make things "spicy" for us because we're staying for so long. His kind demeanor, patience, and overuse of the word maybe make him so enjoyable to be around. Heck, I love all of the brothers!

Yes Garrett, this used to be your picture. Hehe :)

Day 6

      On this day, I went to Faith Center, one of the men's centers, for the first time.  This was the first center started by Fr. Ho Lung, and the sign outside still says Brothers of the Poor (the original name of the order) which is pretty neat. Fr. Ho Lung even lived here with the residents in the beginning! When we arrived at the center, I was a little nervous about how the men would act, but they turned out to be the sweetest, gentlest guys ever.  I was assigned to clip fingernails and toenails...yes, toenails. If you know me, you know that that was definitely the hardest task I could have been assigned.  At first I found myself kind of avoiding the task, but eventually I overcame that because I knew these people deserved to be taken care of, and I owed them for all the love they'd already given me. The least I could do to repay them was clip their nails!  At one point, I convinced a blind, deaf, and mute man to let me cut his nails.  He had refused to let Awet do it, but after a few minutes, he understood what I wanted and agreed to let me do it.  A few minutes after I finished cutting his nails, threw his feet on my lap and pointed to his toes. I am positive God was chuckling at me at this point. I took that man's dirty, sore-filled feet into my hands, and I clipped his toenails with as much ease as if I was clipping my own. Let's be real - I never would have been able to do that without God's grace!

      After finishing my duties, I joined Chrissy and a resident named Roger for a game of frisbee. Roger wasn't very mobile, but he sure knew how to throw a frisbee better than we did! I'm pretty sure he would play 24/7 as long as there was someone in front of him willing to catch.  Once he wore me out, I sat down to talk to a blind man named Mr. George. At one point he was just like, "I love you, Emily," and I'm telling you, that was the voice of God! Honestly, that was the first time in months that I heard that phrase from someone other than my family and truly felt the love behind it. That man had nothing but love to give me, and I appreciated it so much. So, so much. Someone remind me to make my loved ones feel loved as soon as possible!

Roger, the frisbee machine!

      After lunch, I handed out snacks and water with Chrissy while Tim and Daniel (our Notre Dame boys) shaved faces.  I'm not sure I could've handled that, so I'm glad they were there! I was lucky enough to get to have another chat with Mr. George, and we talked all about what I feel called to do with my life. He told me to recognize the Lord's presence in my studies and to constantly thank him for giving me that knowledge that I've attained so far.  He wanted me to go home and tell everyone I know about him so that when they go to Jamaica, they can tell him they learned about him from me. So, here it is. Go to Kingston and meet Mr. George. I promise you won't regret it!

My man, Mr. George.

Jamaica, Part III.

      Wow, I totally meant to have this trip totally recounted in like three days, but all of a sudden I was making a 20 hour round trip to Oklahoma City for the Women's College World Series, one of my friends was getting married, and I was starting summer school.  More on all of that later though. Now, let's get back to Jamaica!

Day 4
      This day was totally incredible.  In the morning, we got to celebrate Mass with Father Hayden, one of the first men to follow Fr. Ho Lung on his crazy journey. I'll write more about this guy later - he's insane and amazing! After Mass, I worked for a few hours in the morning at Bethlehem, the children's home. It's probably a good thing that Saturdays are short work days because Bethlehem is definitely the hardest center for me.  There's something about bottle feeding a "child" that is so helpless they can't even bend their arms and legs on their own that gets to me.  I say "child" because here, there are residents who are in their teens and even twenties who fit into a child's crib. At one point, I was in the little girls' room, and I was spending time with a resident named Roxanne. She was in so much pain, and there was literally nothing I could do to take that away from her. There was nothing more I wanted at that moment than to help her carry her cross, and I couldn't! It was so heartbreaking.
      After finishing the work day and having a quick lunch, we headed to Mount Tabor!!! Mount Tabor is this beautiful home up on the top of a mountain where the brothers and retreat participants go for a time of silent prayer. Brothers live stay there for an entire year and are constantly in prayer! Props to them because I could hardly handle one day of keeping my mouth shut. Our bus ride wasn't nearly as scary as last years, but that one is really hard to beat. Right when we got to the top of the mountain, I saw a pig being slaughtered at the "zoo", and I knew it would be a very interesting day. Again this year, I was struck how purely and naturally beautiful everything was. It's almost impossible to let anything bother you when you're up at the top of that mountain surrounded by an environment that looks the way God intended it too.

It doesn't get more beautiful than this.

      After seeing all of the giant pigs and teeny weeny rabbits at the zoo, we went to visit the Beatitudes, the orphanage on the mountain.  These little boys are the sickest kids of all, and it's so hard to see them in this environment.  The brothers and the lay people take care of them so well, but as an American, it can be difficult to stop yourself from scooping them all up and taking them back to the states sometimes. I spent most of my time with a little boy who couldn't talk very much. I think he sat on my lap for at least half an hour pressing every button on my watch to see how it would change.  I think that was the most peace I'd felt within myself in a long, long time.

My sweet friend.

      Once we left the orphanage, Brother Christopher took us on an adventure into the woods. I think we were looking for a waterfall, but after what felt like hours, we turned back around and emerged from the forest with a couple of limes and cacao plants. When we got back to the house, we saw Brother Vincent! He was in charge of us last year, so we were really happy to see him again.

He might look serious, but he's a total goob. And an Usher look-a-like!

      Eventually, we made out way back to Jesus the Redeemer to have dinner with the brothers on our patio.  Caroline, Garrett, and I sat with Brother Ray. Little did we know this was the first of many crazy conversations we'd have with these MOPs! He told us all about how he pretty much snuck into this monastic order, and how when he left home, he told himself he wasn't going to go back...and he hasn't. For eleven years. I can't even imagine what that's like. I hate going more than a month without seeing my family, and I can talk to them on the phone as often as I'd like! As a brother, you write monthly letters, but that's it.  He also told us that when he was in charge of Bethlehem, he liked to take one of the residents and swing with him on the swing for hours when he was having a rough day.  He told us that when things felt difficult at Bethlehem, he would ask himself, "What would my mother do?" and he would be able to do what he needed to do. That really struck me, and for the rest of the week, I asked myself the same thing when I faced a difficult situation. My goodness, our mothers do so much for us! I mean seriously, I could spend hours thanking my mom for everything she has ever done for me, and I'd feel like I hadn't covered anything. Too blessed!

     Once we finished dinner, we made a huge circle and shared some of our experiences with the brothers.   To end the night, we sang Building Community together, and we all did the dance! Just typing the name has put the song in my head, and I'm sure it'll be there for hours. It's I...It's I...It's I who builds community!

Bro. Elijah and some of our girls singing Building Community!

Jamaica, Part II.

Onward we must go!

Day 3
      Today, I worked at the Lord's Place with Caroline, Chrissy, Lizzie, and Adele.  I think this is the biggest home, since it has a side for elderly women and a side for HIV/AIDS patients. Once again, I was struck by how familiar all of the residents were.  They were ready to dance the minute we walked in, and Fr. Todd did a wonderful job of getting down with the ladies!  At one point, Caroline asked one of the girls why she looked so sad.  The girl told her that she was missing her mom and didn't know when she'd get to see her again.  As they talked, she told Caroline that she was 19 and had been at the Lord's Place for three years.  She hadn't seen her mother since she got there.  How heartbreaking is that? So many of us are quick to lash out at our moms or roll out eyes when we don't like what they have to say.  We don't think twice before saying something hurtful when caught in a disagreement.  Would your mom ever drop you off and leave you for, most probably, the rest of your life to live in a center full of mentally ill women? Yeah, I didn't think so.  I definitely took a few steps back and thought about everything my mom has ever done for me. Geez, I owe her so much! I could say thank you millions of times, and it still wouldn't feel sufficient.
      During lunch, we celebrated Brother Leo's birthday!  There was cake AND soda, which means this was a really, really big deal.  It was really cool to see what a birthday celebration is like for these guys.  They have a huge meal full of laughter just like we do, and they also give really nice speeches about the person celebrating their birthday.  Oh, and me and Caroline's favorite brother from last year recognized us! So exciting!!! In the afternoon, we fed the residents their yogurt (it will be a long time before I eat Yoplait again) and watched a movie with them.  When the work day was done, we were reunited with a very solemn group from Bethlehem, the children's home.  That morning, one of their residents had died, most likely from a seizure.  It just so happens, we found out later, that the girl's mother was coming to visit for the first time in six months that day. God works in such mysterious ways, doesn't he? While I found myself feeling somewhat sad for the girl and her family, I felt so happy for her because she is finally freed from her imperfect body and sitting right next to the man who loved her through it all!
      After we got home from working, I went with Chrissy and Maggie to watch some of the boys play futbol with the brothers.  We went to a local park, and since girls are not allowed to participate in games whatsoever with the brothers, we just sat and watched. We made a 12 year old friend who responded to every question with a "No, Miss," or "Yes, Miss," response. I truly hope he escapes the pull of the ghetto and is able to make something of himself! He gave us all gifts to bring back with us to America, and even though we couldn't bring the strange plants on the plane, I did manage to sneak home a few seeds. ;)

Soccer in the mountains.

      After returning from soccer, we went to evening prayer then had dinner together. I noticed then that we were slowly but surely becoming a family, even with Tim, Daniel, and Awet from Notre Dame. When working with MOP, you quickly realize there are very few people who will ever understand your experiences. Only the people in your group won't look at you like you're a crazy person once you get home! At dinner, we talking about the two martyrs.  In 2003, two brothers were shot and killed by a single bullet while doing the dishes.  Today, when the brothers tell the story, they smile the whole time. For us, it's hard to image being happy that someone is gone, but on their picture at every center the brothers have put their "Birthday in Heaven".  They realize how great a life those brothers are living now, and they were able to forgive the man who killed them.  They even helped out his wife financially when he himself was shot and killed! After hearing that, I realized that I need to work on forgiving people in my own life. It can be hard to forgive those who really hurt you, but holding grudges only holds you back.

Jamaica, Part I.

      Well, I'm back stateside! We got back late Friday night, and I think I've finally rested and recovered enough to share the amazingness of my trip with you. I'll break it up into a couple of days at a time, and most of what I write will probably be paraphrased from my journal. Get ready!

Day 1
      Going into this trip, I knew my heart wasn't in the right place.  I was spending most of my time running away from and dodging anything that might upset me, because frankly I was just plain exhausted and tired of feeling sad and disappointed.  I wanted to get on that first plane to Miami with total peace of mind, but I was nowhere near that when the day finally came.  When we got there though, it was as if I'd never left. Everything looked the exact same, and all of the memories came flooding back. They were all so good!
      Our first stop was Sacred Heart, the monastery that the brothers go to after completing the novitiate stage.  We had lunch there and got to see Father Ho Lung, the founder of Missionaries of the Poor! I really wish he'd been able to sit down and talk with us, but he was leaving the country soon for one of their concerts. He is seriously the most saintly person I have ever met and will probably ever meet, so it was really nice to see him again. After lunch, we headed to Jesus the Redeemer, the house for the "old brothers" and all the volunteers. We pretty much took over the third floor, and I'm positive we scared the three other volunteers we would come to consider members of our own family. We spent the rest of the day getting settled in - life in Kingston can take some getting used to!

One of the views from our patio, the always beautiful Blue Mountains!

Day 2

      On my first day of work, I went to Jacob's Well with Caroline, Adele, and Sarah P. Jacob's Well was the first place I went to last year, and the women there have had a special place in my heart ever since.  When we got there, we were greeted with happy screams and lots of hugs. It's crazy how easily I recognized the women and remembered their personalities. Names are a bit harder, but they tend to change their names every time the wind blows.  In the morning, I brushed teeth, washed faces, and applied lotion before washing mattresses and feeding them lunch.  When I was with those women, I found myself thinking of my own mother. What if she needed me in this way? Many of the women in this center are the age of mothers and grandmothers, and it can feel so weird to spoon feed them or brush their teeth for them.  As weird as it feels though, the apprehension fades so quickly. You can feel the love and thankfulness coming from them, and immediately you realize you're going to get so much more out of this trip then you ever thought you would.

      That night, I realized that some of the peace I'd been seeking had returned to me. It's nearly impossible to ignore God and what he's trying to tell you when you spend so much of your day in prayer and in the presence of His love.  In the end, my fate will be decided by how I showed love, not spoke of it.  

One of the gorgeous residents of Jacob's Well, taken last year.
She's still got that smile though!

Two Down, Two to Go (Well...4...Maybe 5...)

      I did it! I finished this awful semester without just giving up and running away, and I managed to pull out a pretty decent GPA too! I really can't even begin to tell you what it feels like to be done with two years of college.  I feel like just yesterday I was sitting in church waiting to hear my name called to receive my diploma. Was that really TWO YEARS ago?! It's insane how much things have changed since I left high school, especially in the last six months. Long story short, this year didn't go anything like I expected it would, but I'm so grateful for every single thing that happened. Yes, even the things that I was sure would lead to my demise. I made it through so much more than an impossible physics class, and I couldn't have done it without my amazing Baton Rouge family.  You know, that might be the best part of it all. I've got this established group of people that I know I can go to with anything, and they will all comfort me in their own unique way. Some will hug me, some will slap me, and some will laugh at me. And I love them all the same for it.
      Last weekend, Stewy's brother got married! It was a lot of fun, but it definitely confirmed for me that I do not want a big wedding. I just don't think I could handle the stress, or the attention, or the planning...bleh. So if you want to be at my wedding, camp out at the courthouse and you might get lucky! Here's one of my favorite pictures from the night (and there were a lot to choose from)!

Love those girls!

      This past weekend was Hayley's bachelorette party, and it was so much fun! We went to Painting with a Twist (where I learned I am not an artist), out to eat at Agave, and then out in downtown Lafayette (where I do not want to show my face for about six months...or years). It still amazes me all the time that she's doing as well as she is. She's raising a two year old, planning a wedding, and getting ready to go to dental hygiene school, and she somehow manages to keep her sanity. It really is amazing!  I still can't wrap my head around the fact that one of my good friends is getting married. I don't like growing up! Look how cute we are hehe :)

Momma and I.

      This afternoon, I'm heading back to Baton Rouge to get ready to leave for Kingston tomorrow. I really can't believe the trip is already here! I still haven't packed or prepared in any way really. I can't lie, I'm not as excited as I'd like to be, but I'm pretty sure that will change the minute we head to the airport. My mind has been so consumed with trivial things for the past few months and weeks that I've found it hard to focus on the things I should focus on. I think this trip will get me back where I need to be. Last year was truly life-chaning, and I haven't forgotten a single thing I learned while I was there. I can't wait to get tons of hugs from the residents and talk to all the brothers and sisters about their lives. I can't even put into words how it feels to be surrounded by so much love. There's just no experience that compares to this one. How often do you get to swallow your pride and feed a woman who is your mother's age? Talk about humbling. If you want to look into the face of Christ, all you have to do is keep your eyes open in Kingston. He's literally everywhere. Yes, He's everywhere in America too, but we tend to hide Him behind our iPhones and computers and Facebook and...you get what I'm saying. I was reading through my journal from last year last night, and at some point I wrote, "When you remove all of our "wealth", you can see how truly poor in spirit we are." That's still so true to me. When you remove all of your worldly possessions and successes and everything like that, you are left with only your weak spirit...and it can suck sometimes. In the next ten days, I look forward to getting back on track towards the life I'm supposed to be living. 

Last year's group with Fr. Ho Lung, the founder of MOP.

      If you're a prayerful person, please keep me and the other 24 missionaries in your thoughts and prayers while we're gone. We leave tomorrow morning at 2am, and we get back really late on the 25th. So if you're looking for me, don't look too hard. You'll never find me! This trip is going to be life changing, and I can't wait for everyone who hasn't been to experience it. Get ready for some crazy good posts when I get back and come out of my post-mission coma. Later!

Be Still and Know.

      Wow. Today I finished classes, which means I'm one week away from being halfway done with college (well, undergrad). I can't even begin to explain how insane that feels to me.  I swear just yesterday, I was posing in front of church in my cap and gown with all of my dearest friends. Can I just say how totally blessed I am to still have my dearest friends in my life today? I realize how lucky we are to all be at the same school doing some of the same things. I don't know if I could get through anything without them! And with that, I reminded myself that Stew is moving, so I'm stopping there before this turns into a boohoo post!
      Tuesday was pretty much the craziest day I've had in a while. I turned in two huge assignments, gave a presentation, took a final, and then headed to New Orleans with Stew to see The Fray. They were so amazing! There's just something about a man who can sing (and sing really well) that I love so much. It was at Tipitina's, so it was a venue the size of House of Blues or The Varsity. As much as I love big shows, I love small shows with big artists even more. Need I remind you all of the unplugged set at the end of the Needtobreathe show?! Marvelous. Anyway, I'm so glad we decided to live it up and head over there for the evening. I mean there's just nothing that can compare to seeing an artist who's good on the radio be even better live. I love it! Here's a song that I think you'll all know.

Oh, and here's Isaac Slade three inches from my face. No big deal though.

Okay, it's a really big deal.

      Tomorrow, Mel and I are heading west for a weekend full of physics! Woo! Oh, and I guess we'll make sometime to go see Stew's brother get married. Maybe we'll (okay...I'll) even have a margarita or two. I deserve it! I probably won't reappear here until next Friday or Saturday, so try not to miss me too much. Later!

P.S. 13 DAYS TIL JAMAICA!

The Final Stretch.

      I apologize for my lack of existence over the past ten days, but I've been a busy girl!  I've been turning in assignment after assignment, but it's so nice to see my "to do" list shrinking by the minute.  So many things have been going on, and with just two weeks of school left, things are about to get even crazier. I'll deal with that when I come to it though. Since I've last posted...

Hayley had her bridal shower! 
      It still blows my mind that one of my friends from high school is getting married in a little over a month.  If there's anyone who is ready for it though, it's her. She's already a great mom, student, friend, and everything else, so I'm sure being a good wife will be a breeze.  I can't wait for her wedding!

Are we really old enough to go to these things? Still blows my mind.

I gave my last speech in public speaking!

      I can't even tell you how happy I was when this happened.  I gave a made up Maid of Honor toast, and it was definitely my best speech yet. I managed to remember the entire thing and deliver it almost exactly like I wanted to. The best part about it is, I think I might actually come out of this class with an A. I think I see a new pair of Chaco's are in the near future!

Softball had their last home game of the season.

      Okay, so this technically won't happen until 1pm, but we're close enough.  I can't believe how quickly this season has flown by.  It's crazy to me that Alex has almost completed two seasons playing college softball and still manages to maintain her sanity (for the most part).  I'll be out of the country with no access to technology when they start the postseason, so hopefully they're still in it when I get home!

Jamaica is now 17 days away!!!!

      I'm too excited about this one.  I still find myself waking up some morning singing church songs from the Caribbean mass.  Last year's Jamaica trip was pretty much the most amazing time of my life, and I can't wait to see what this year will be like now that I know what to expect (and, hopefully, will be spending an entire ten days in Jamaica).  We have a meeting about it this afternoon, so I'm sure day dreaming about Kingston will distract me for the rest of the afternoon. Oh well!

      Like I said, I've been crazy busy with school lately. I've got my first final this week, and I've got like six huge assignments due.  On Tuesday, Stew, Brittany, and I are going to see The Fray in the French Quarter, and on Saturday, Stew's brother is getting married.  So get ready, there will actually be an interesting post in the near future! For now, I'm going to go to lunch with my parents, a softball game, and a Jamaica meeting before drowning myself in papers for the rest of the day. Later!

One More Month.

      Spring break was wonderful, but it's time to get back to the grind for four more weeks.  I have yet to do anything productive since returning from Texas on Sunday, and blogging is just about the last thing I have left to do on my procrastination list.  I'm lacking in stories about adventures I've had, so I guess I'll give you one or two of my deeply rooted wisdom nuggets today. Yay nuggets!
      I just finished reading The Faith Club for my religion class. In one section, I came across this awesomeness that Mother Teresa used to print on her "business card".

      That is like...perfect.  It's crazy how easily I was able to apply it to my life the moment I read it.  I love to take a few minutes (admittedly, those few minutes sometimes turn into lots and lots of minutes) to just sit in silence and think.  As I think, my thoughts turn to prayer. As I pray, I remember all of the blessings that God has bestowed upon me and the ones I love, and this strengthens my faith.  Through my faith, I am able to love in situations that I never thought I would be able to. This is where it gets good. With this ability to love even when it seems difficult, I'm able to serve. Specifically, I am able to serve the poorest of the poor. Through this service, I find a peace that I have never been able to find anywhere else. To this day, I have never felt more at peace and sure of God's existence than I did in Kingston last summer. As our departure date for Jamaica gets closer (29 days!), I find myself remembering last years trip more and more throughout each day.  I would leave tonight if I could! There's just really nothing like looking into the face of someone who has nothing (in terms of worldly possessions) and seeing love...and nothing more. What else do we need? I think there's a song about that. I mean seriously, when is the last time you went an entire day without stressing or worrying about something silly. I bet it's been a really, really long time. It's so hard to just sit back and enjoy what you've got when you live in a world that is always striving to be better at things that don't really matter. When friends from home comment on the fact that I've changed, I usually just answer with, "Jamaica."
      Even though I'm ready to go, there are still four weeks of school work, a wedding, a concert, a bridal shower, and so much more to experience first. I guess it's time to be a big girl and get some work done. Later!

P.S. I found this on my bedroom door when I got home, and another one like it in the kitchen. I said yes! I mean, what more does a girl want than a nice proposal and access to her husband's money? 0:)

Melanie makes a cute groomsmen, doesn't she?

Recharged.

      Gosh, I feel amazing! Exhausted and sunburnt, but amazing nonetheless.  I got to spend about five glorious days with a few of my best friends in Orange Beach, and I couldn't have asked for a better trip.  There's just nothing better than getting to escape all of your worries for a couple of days to focus on all of the blessings in your life.  I'm so used to going nonstop and stressing about every little thing, so it was refreshing to do absolutely nothing but relax in the sun for a few days.

Heaven on earth.

      There are so many things I could say about this trip, but that would take forever. I'm a sleepy girl! I'm forever grateful for the friends I've been given. We might drive each other crazy, but they understand me like no one else. We all need nights where we stay up way too late talking about life, and I was lucky enough to get more than one of those. I'm telling you God even let us know he was listening one night. A.maz.ing. Tomorrow begins round two of this spring break extravaganza, so I'm calling it a night. Later!

The Day He Died for Me.

      Today was absolutely perfect. Instead of waking up at the crack of dawn to go to class and work, I woke up at lunchtime to go absolutely nowhere. Aside from having to finish some physics homework, I didn't have to do a single school-related thing today. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not actually summer yet! I got to spend the day with my family and my SIC Caroline doing nothing but chowing down on crawfish, attempting to dye eggs, riding bikes, and watching a little LSU softball. Tomorrow, I get to sped some time with my niece and nephew and hopefully hit up the Easter Vigil, my favorite mass of the year. There's just something about that paschal candle!

Forgotten eggs apparently get blisters.

      As some of you might have forgotten in the midst of your crawfish boils, today is Good Friday. It's the day that Jesus died in order for you and I to live such amazing lives. Even at 20 years old, I still find it almost impossible to comprehend. Jesus died for me? He allowed himself to be tortured to death...for me? How am I worthy of that love? What have I done with this life to deserve that? I certainly don't feel deserving of this love, yet here I am. Here I am being completely, perfectly loved. Amazing.
      I hope that you all were able to spend time with people who are truly important to you today. We are all blessed with certain people who would do anything for us. They're the people who would give up anything to make our lives better without even thinking about what that might mean for them. I found myself thinking about that so much today as I spent time with my parents in this home that they've created for us over the years. I know they've given up so much for my brother and I, and I only hope that I can be like them when I'm a parent. As goofy and annoying as they can be, they love me so much and do everything they can to make me happy. I am so blessed I can hardly stand it!
      Now, I'm going to curl up with a great, not school related book until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. I urge you to take a long, hard look at your life as this holy week goes on. Make yourself fully aware of your blessings, and thank the ones who have provided them. Later!

Home Sweet Home.

      I'm blogging tonight merely to prove to myself and to the world that I am still alive! I might feel dead, but I do indeed still have a pulse. I cannot believe I survived the insanity of the past week.  This was definitely the worst week of the semester for me, so now I can count down the days left until summer without worrying about all the work I have to do!
      I'm not sure that too many interesting things have happened in the past week, but I can think of one thing for sure. My bestest buddy in the whole wide world got her acceptance letter to nursing school! Go Stewy!!!! I was home during the day for once, and I'm so glad I got to be there when she found out. I almost cried for her! As awesome as it was, it was sad too. We haven't talked about her moving because we didn't want to jinx anything, but now that she's in, it's too real! She'll only be an hour and a half away in  New Orleans, but that's too far! It's going to be so hard to go from living with someone for a whole year (pretty much two if you count dorm life) to hardly ever getting to see them. Who is going to talk to me and read the loyal friend book to me when I can't sleep?! Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. We have to grow up sometime, right? Right. Until then, we'll just have the time of our lives. :)
      I thought spring break would never get here, but after packing my bags and spending far too long in traffic, I'm finally home! My pup was so excited to see me that she was waiting in the road and jumped into the car right when I pulled up.

I swear she's smiling!

      I'm home for the next few days, and then I'll disappearing for a few days. I told myself I was going to swear off technology while I was gone, but I have a feeling there will be plenty I'll want to blog about.  Until then, I'll celebrate the Easter season with my family and friends. Like anyone else born and raised in south Louisiana, I've been craving boiled crawfish for weeks. Now I get to have it two days in a row! Tomorrow I get to spend the day dyeing eggs with my mom and making the most delicious Easter casserole known to man that I will not even attempt to spell. Since tomorrow is Good Friday and kind of a huge deal, I'll try to write up something nice for ya. Until then, I'm going to read the Hunger Games (finally!) and argue with my daddy about everything I can think of. Later!

     

Rainy Days.

      Well, today was...wet. Very, very wet.  This morning, I awoke to a torrential downpour and tornado watches. I didn't have any classes today, but I did have to trek to school to turn in a paper. LSU, you should really have parking for people who need to be somewhere for fifteen minutes or less. I literally waded through a brand new pond in the pouring rain and had my boots filled with water just so I could turn in this stupid paper which I will most likely not get an A on. I felt victorious as I approached the submission box...until I pulled the paper out of my coat to see that it was soaked. Instead of fretting that I would lose points, I just put it in the box and soaked all the other papers. We can't all lose points...right?  Luckily, I got to spend the rest of the day at work looking at the rain instead of walking in it.  On my way home, I felt so bad for anyone that had to walk or bike through this...

That's not a ditch...it's a sidewalk.

      After work, I headed over to Buffalo Wild Wings to have dinner with Melanie and some of her friends. This is a note to myself that I need to look into a fundraiser like that for Jamaica! After dinner, I headed back to the apartment and was greeted by this lake...

My car was smoking after this...notice the waves
and fully submerged speed bump.

      As gross as today was, I think we'll be back to this great spring weather soon. I might not like to sweat, but I like it so much more than I like shivering. The cold is miserable to me! 

      I can't lie, the weather fit my mood pretty well today. It was all over the place, and nothing about it was pretty. I'll probably slap myself later for blogging about this, but it's 1am and I'm talkative. 0:)

Today would have been my three year anniversary if there was still an anniversary to be celebrated. Three years ago tonight, I told myself, "Emily, quit being such a baby and let the boy kiss you already." I'm telling you, that's exactly what I said to myself. If you know me, you know I obviously listened to myself. For weeks before, I worried that if I dared to leave the "friend zone", terrible awful things would happen. I was wrong...for a little while at least. Even today I still question if I made the wrong choice. I'm one of those people who doesn't regret things, but I'm also one of those people who questions how things would be if certain moments had gone differently in my life. There's just something about losing a best friend, no matter how long you've been friends or what your story is, that just sucks so bad. I've been there a few times, and I think it's safe to say this is the worst one. I guess because it's something I can never get back. The kid is a complete stranger to me now, but I guess that's the path we've chosen to go down. It's tough, but it's life. If people didn't hurt us, we wouldn't fully appreciate those who have our best interest at heart. If relationships didn't fail, we wouldn't value the ones that get us through each and every day.

      I let myself feel down today, but it's time to stop that. I would be foolish to let this obscure my view of all the great things that I have in my life. My friends, my family, my opportunities...I've been blessed with so much. I thank God, as often as my fallible mind can remember to, for this life that He has blessed me with.  I've got friends that I know will be my friends for the rest of my life. We'll be having wine parties at 80 while we reminisce about the ones we had at 20. I've got a family that supports me in everything I want to do. No matter what I approach my parents with, they do their best to put their reservations aside and let me live and learn. I'm currently going to the college I always wanted to and pursuing a degree in something that I know will make me happy when I'm out of school. The positives are infinitely greater than the negatives. I love this life, and if I ever try to tell you differently, please slap me. Later!

Busy Life.

      Time is seriously flying right past me. I've been insanely busy these past few weeks. I wish I could say it was because I was out having the time of my life, but truly, most of my time is consumed by studying and papers and a few minutes of sleep here and there. Spring break can't come fast enough! So much has happened in the past few weeks, so here are some of the highlights:
      I ran my first half marathon! You can find a whole post about that below this one, but I just had to say it one more time. It's crazy!
      I got my first F in college. No really, I've never done that bad on anything else in my life. I was totally miserable for a few hours, but as usual, being negative and pouting didn't make me feel better at all. Physics is ridiculous and unnecessary, and I will never use these formulas again after next fall. The professor knows it's true, so why is he trying to destroy my GPA?! Whatever, dude.
      I survived midterms! Although I failed my physics test, I managed to get a 100, a 96, and a 95 on my other exams during the week. It's nice to see some A's again! It's even nicer to know that the semester is at least halfway over. 9 weeks to go!
      I finished up my volunteering at the food bank. I'm really going to miss those people! The other volunteers never failed to make me laugh and look at things from a new perspective. Oh, and I will never, ever, ever throw trash into one of those red bins again. I don't think I ever did consciously, but still! I've seen the other side, and pulling someone's gum off of a can of corn is not enjoyable.  
      Molly turned twenty! That's right, we have added another member to the twenties club. Molly, my friend from good old Evangeline Hall, is our newest member. Check out her cake!

Yeah, it's a pineapple!

      I realized I've been single for three months now. Okay, I know you probably scoffed at that, but it's crazy to me! When you haven't for almost three years, it can be kind of a hard thing to get used to. Actually, it's ridiculously hard to get used to. All I can say is I'm much better off than I ever thought I would be, and I'm so grateful to everyone who is a part of that. Love you guys!

      Softball started SEC play. Over the past two years, I've started to like softball...but just a little. I mean I kind of have to like it since there will be two players in my apartment next year. As if Alex isn't smelly enough...

Basically levitating. No big deal though.

Self-proclaimed "best guy fan ever". I couldn't resist!

      Nicole is visiting!!!  Definitely the highlight of this week. Our dear Nikki abandoned us for Texas A&M after freshman year, and now she's finally reclaiming us and visiting! We all went to dinner last night, and I'm sure we'll get into something else when I get back to Baton Rouge tomorrow. I just love how even after not seeing each other for almost a year, nothing has really changed. We all still do embarrassing things in public and even more embarrassing things at home. I doubt that will ever change!

      As crazy as things have been school wise, there is still even more craziness to come. Tonight I'm hitting up a retirement party (it's going to be wild, I swear!), tomorrow I'm running the Race for the Cure in Lafayette, and then it's back to the school grind until next weekend when we have the Heart Walk and Groovin' on the Grounds! Let's hope I manage to post before another two weeks have passed. Later!

We Survived!

      One week ago today, I ran my first ever half marathon...and I survived! After a year of anticipation and preparation (well...a few months of preparation), I finally did it! This post will be solely dedicated to telling you how amazing (and brutal) it was, and if I have time tonight, I'll catch you up on the other events of my super fabulous life.

      Last Saturday, me, Stew, Melanie, and Madeline headed to New Orleans after lunch, and after getting turned around a few times and narrowly avoiding wrecks (stop signs can be so hard to see sometimes), we finally made it to the check-in at the convention center. I didn't realize how big of a deal this race was going to be! The convention center was full of people, but we got in and out pretty quickly. 

      After we got our shirts, numbers, and goodie bags, we decided that it was time to get some grub. We headed over to Mother's for dinner, and it was so delicious. Even though I still live in south Louisiana, I don't get delicious gumbo, jambalaya, and etouffee very often. Mother's had it all! As expected, we left there full and ready for bed.

      Lucky, a friend of a friend of a friend (I think?) opened up her home to us and was gracious enough to let us stay with her for the night. We got there not long after dark, but it felt like midnight! We stayed up for while talking about the race and other random things, but I'm pretty sure we were in bed before 10pm. That was a good thing though, because we woke up at 5am to head to the race! I don't mind waking up early, but I really do prefer waking up after the sun.

      We managed to leave the house a little before 6am after quite a groggy wake up, and we found some super cheap parking not far from the starting line. Finding cheap parking in New Orleans is like finding $20 on the ground. Or $50 even. It's freaking fabulous.  We sat in the car for a while convincing our legs that they could trust us, and then it was time to head to our corrals. Stew and I were in the same one, and Melanie and Madeline were in whichever ones correlated with their expected finish times. We got to the race just in time to witness the beginning of it all!

The really crazy ones.

      They started corrals sooner than we expected, so we had to split up pretty quickly. There were so many people!! Who knew there were 22,000 people in the world who wouldn't mind getting up at 5am to run 13.1 miles? Here's what I was expecting to be the last picture ever taken of me as a living being.

Some things are only possible when you're trying to beat your best friend, right? :)

      Before we knew it, we were at the start line and they were yelling GO! Ahhhh! Stew and I ran the first three miles in what was probably our best 5k time ever, and the next three weren't too bad either. I want to say things were just fabulous until about...mile 8? That's when I started getting stiff....and hungry. It's downright cruel to make me run by Cafe Du Monde! The last five miles got worse and worse, but we did it! We finished! In under two and a half hours! With our limbs still attached to our torsos! All in all, it was a good race. :)

      As soon as we crossed the finish line, I thought I was going to die. All of a sudden I found myself collecting bananas, bagels, marathon bars, water, gatorade, chocolate milk, and everything else I could hold. I don't know what got into me...I guess I was really famished! I mean come on, I burned 1500 calories! I also grabbed a nifty space blanket that came in handy, as you can see.

Why wasn't anyone else this exhaused?

      Eventually, our group was reunited. After a quick recap, we headed over to the shuttles and were on our merry way home. It's crazy that a year's worth of anticipation and preparation all came down to something that was over in less than three hours. Madness!

We did it! We freaking did it! 

My new bling!

Eventually I was able to stand again...yay!

      I'm so glad I decided to give into Mel's crazy idea and run a half marathon. Once upon a time, I could hardly run a mile straight! I never could have done it without being pushed and nagged by my dear friends to start training and keep training for more than three days at a time. It's been a week since the race, and I think my body has finally recovered. As crazy as it sounds, I'm ready for more! I definitely want to do another half, but I have my sights set on the Rocketchix triathlon at the end of July. I'll be embarking on this next endeavor with my equally-insane friend Victoria at some point in the next few weeks. I might be a runner, but can I be a runner, swimmer, and biker at the same time? We'll see! Later!