Days 9 and 10
We used Day 9 as a day of silent reflection, so from 9am until about 6:30pm, we hardly spoke. You can imagine that I almost lost my mind, but I'll admit I definitely needed to shut my mouth up so I could listen to my heart for a while.
After spending most of the day reading from the Bible and napping (it was so hard to stay awake!), I went to confession for the first time in...let's just say ages. It's always been such a chore to drag myself to the confessional when I need to, and every time I finally do, I just want to slap myself for waiting so long. So many people are quick to say that you don't need to go to confession when you can just talk to God about it whenever you want, but there is something so special about being in the confessional and feeling your sins completely lifted off of your shoulders. It's so hard to explain, but it's one of the best feelings in the world! Asking God for forgiveness outside of the sacrament just isn't comparable at all to me.
That night, we had our last big dinner with the brothers on the patio. Caroline, Garrett, Adele, and I sat with Father Hayden, one of the first brothers to join Fr. Ho Lung. He is so crazy! At one point, he casually told us how he had been kicked out of India three times. We laughed because we thought it was a joke, but he was serious! When you think about Catholic brothers, especially MOPs, you don't think of men who hide from the law, overstay their visas, and sneak people in and out of countries. That's exactly what they do though! If I could have dinner on that patio every night with those brothers, I'm pretty sure I'd never see another sad day.
The next day, we spent the morning cleaning the house before leaving for the airport. Around noon, we hopped in the back of the "air conditioned" bus, meaning the open air cattle truck, and headed to the airport. Before I knew it, we were back in New Orleans and headed for the capital city. Brother Elijah jokingly told us to go home for the weekend and come back on Monday. Little did he know we all would have done just that if we could have!
I don't even know if there are words to describe how much the people of Jamaica mean to me. They've changed me in ways that I didn't know I needed to be fixed, and they've shown me a love that I don't think I'll ever find elsewhere. They've taught me to be patient, to be kind, and to love without reservations. They've taught me how to close my selfish mind and open my thirsty heart to God so that He can use me as His instrument. Through them, I have learned how to be truly happy and to entrust my life and my future to a man that I can't even see. The peace I feel on my heart when I'm there is something that I'm constantly striving to find back home, but it's just so much harder. I have every intention of going back to Kingston at least once a year for as long as possible, and I hope that my friends and family will be able to join me sometime and have their lives changed as well. I promise you, if you spend even one day with the brothers and residents of Missionaries of the Poor, you'll never look at anything in your life the same way again.
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| "The call to serve the poor is an invitation to happiness." - Fr. Richard Ho Lung |
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