One of Those Weekends.

      As I type this, I'm breathing a big sigh of contentment. This was definitely one of the best weekends I've had in a while, and I needed it so badly. It wasn't one of those weekends that was full of crazy, almost unbelievable stories. I'm not sure I could even handle one of those right now. It was one of those weekends where you're with friends nonstop, laughing and just enjoying your time with them. It was one of those weekends where I got a lot of stuff done without stressing out (well, maybe a little). I don't know how else to explain it. It was exactly what I needed to get me motivated for the semester ahead of me.
      Yesterday, Stew, Mel, and I attempted the two hour run. The keyword there is attempted. After a little over four miles, Stew and I took a break. Her knees were hurting and my foot wasn't being too kind to me. Also, there was NO water for at least another two miles. What's up with that BR?! It's downright cruel to leave empty water fountains sitting around. They're like a freaking mirage. Anyway, I just couldn't handle any more running after that. I think it's time for me to swallow my pride and go to a doctor. If it a stress fracture, then I need to get started on treating it so that I don't end up walking with a cane when I'm still in my twenties. The run time wasn't a total loss though - I spent some time laying on the "beach" in the amazing weather while they finished their runs.
      After a little recovery time and some delicious smoothies, we headed to the store to get Hannah's birthday dinner. Did I mention she is now in the 20 club?! It's nice to have another old lady join the group. Stew and I went to church with her, and then we came back to the apartment and got started on dinner. Mel made the amazingly delicious birthday cake that only lasted about twelve hours, and Stew and I made the meal. Our bestest bud from home, Simone, came and joined us for the night, so of course we had to go out and celebrate. Here we are looking cute, hehe. :)

Happy birthday, Hanny!

We went to Bogie's and had an absolute blast. Mel was kind enough to chauffeur us for the night! After we got back, we stayed up until some awful hour eating everything we could find, being obnoxious, and watching friends. Come on, you know how it is. A night out never really ends when you get home, right? We were bummed that Alex couldn't be with us, but apparently it's softball season or something. Lucky for us she was game to hang out with us from 2-4 this morning. :)

       Today was just as good as yesterday, if not better. Monie stayed around for a while, and it was so great to get to catch up with her. After she left, we had a roomie (plus Hannah) date to Yogurtland. I'm sure we were annoyingly loud, but whatever. It was delicious! There's nothing better than a cup of froyo to get you ready to work. We came back to the apartment, opened all the windows, turned on Needtobreathe Pandora, and got work done. I managed to get enough done that I really don't even care that I haven't started on my speech yet. (Sidenote: If you know a good story about my life from which I learned a valuable lesson, please let me know!) While we worked on school stuff, we also worked on dinner. We successfully cooked this freaking delicious roast. I should probably knock on wood as I type this, but we have yet to fail at cooking a meal! It's surprising considering how scatterbrained we can be sometimes. Now, we're catching the very important season finale of Kim and Kourtney. You know you're watching too. We all want to know the juicy details of the breakup, right? Oh, and we also realized that although there are four people paying rent to live in this apartment, there are about eight people who think they live here. I mean I honestly wouldn't be surprised to come home one day and find Hannah, BJ, Celia, Jacob Allen, or even Simone sitting on the couch eating all of our food with no one else around.

      Like I said, this weekend wasn't full of craziness and unbelievableness. I wouldn't be surprised if you told me reading about it was insanely boring, but I don't really care. It meant so much to me. According to Monie, friendships hit this ten year mark where they turn completely awful or something. Well, I've been friends Alex, Hannah, and Simone for ten years or more, and I'm sure my friendships with Melanie and Stew will make it to the mark without falling apart. These girls are my family, and I'm so lucky to have them in my life. I can almost guarantee you that at least half of everything we said this weekend made no sense, but all that matters is that it makes us laugh. I love you guys! (I'm assuming they read this blog...otherwise that's embarrassing.) I'm finally coming out of this nasty place that I've let myself stay stuck in for the past month and a half, and I'm so relieved. I'm ready for everything this week is going to throw at me, including my first attempt at public speaking. Anyway, it's time to watch The Notebook/The Shining. Weird pair, I know. Later!

Guess Who's Back.

      After my little freak out/rant/whine session Tuesday night, I decided to go MIA from this thing for a little while. Honestly, I just really didn't feel like writing on Wednesday. I can't think of a single exciting thing that happened on that day, but it's probably because I go to class til 8:30 then work until 4:30...and there's only so much you can say about being a student worker. Am I right? As for not blogging last night, after looking at my online physics homework for a few hours, I couldn't stand looking at my computer anymore. It's amazing how quickly I get sick of my computer when I'm supposed to be doing something productive on it (although I'm not sure how productive I consider homework). Anyway, I apologize for my disappearance, and now I'm going to catch you up on me.
      Like I said, Wednesday was nothing special. There was a wonderful thunderstorm that night, and I slept like a baby for the first time in a long time. Thursday brought good weather and good feelings. I took this picture while walking to work after six straight hours of class. It was rejuvenating!

Japanese magnolia on campus.

Not only was this day full of pretty flowers, it was full of good classes. In English, I got to know my classmates a little better, and I learned that it costs way too much to live the life you want when you're right out of college. Seeing the budget we made was painful! In Faith and Doubt, we (thankfully) got off-topic and started talking about our own opinions on some things. Basically, we were asked whether or not religion can exist without morality and vice versa. Can someone believe in a higher power but not live morally? Can someone strive to live a moral life without a belief in a higher power? We spent thirty minutes on this question, and we will probably continue discussing it on Tuesday. I really do enjoy being in an environment where everyone is willing to hear each other opinions, respect them, and then share their own. Physics was mind-numbing as usual, but Public Speaking was actually fun for once. We did a group activity that involved one group seeing a picture, writing and intro paragraph to a story about it, and then finishing the story while the other groups built off of their paragraph without ever seeing the picture. Does that make sense? It was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed laughing and talking with my classmates instead of sitting in silence staring at the teacher. Anyway, Thursday afternoon and night were full of work, homework, and a silly trip to Subway.

      Now, we welcome Friday! I can't even tell you how much I love Fridays. Waking up and knowing I don't have to go to class is pretty much the greatest feeling in the world. This morning, I went to work for a few hours then went to lunch with BJ, Mel, and Stew. There's something about the 459 that makes me miss freshman year. Maybe it's the fact that we spent so much time in that place, and I'm pretty sure we spent more time talking and "studying" than we did eating. After that, it was time to finish physics homework. Okay, lets just skip that awfulness altogether. Eventually, we made our way to the lakes for the first run of the weekend. Tomorrow calls for a whole two hours! While we were stretching, four girls and two canoes passed us by. These poor girls seemed to have no idea what they were getting themselves into. We volunteered to help get the second boat into the water, and we almost flipped them in! I hope the rest of their trip went smoothly, but I wouldn't be surprised if I heard they were still stranded in the middle of the lake right now.

Andddd they're off!

Once we got them going, we started our loop around the small lake. I saw two people I haven't seen in forever, and I finished in under 40 minutes. I always considered that a great run, especially when you have to deal with that weird stretch of the running path that just isn't wide enough for all the people it's supposed to be holding. I think the best part of this run was getting to watch the sun go down. There's just something about Baton Rouge sunsets. I can't help but notice that every single one of them is purple and gold! Seriously, if you're ever in the mood to see a good sunset, hit up the lakes or the parade ground. Nothing better. Tonight, we had a roomie dinner date at Fat Cow. Odd name, but such yummy food. It's always fun to leave everything we're supposed to be doing at the apartment while we go out and act totally immature in public for a while. Our time together would never be complete without name calling, teasing, hitting, and me pretending I'm severely injured. Yes, we're weirdos and enjoy doing everything we were taught not to do in grades 1-12.

LSU sunset.

      In case you can't tell, I'm feeling good. Over the past few days, I have come to realize a few things that have helped me be more positive every day. I mean I finally came to a conclusion about the end of my relationship that I'm happy with. That's huge for me! I put all of myself and even more into it, and if that wasn't enough, then so be it. There are so few people in my life and yours who are willing to give us their all, and we're fools if we let that go. In the same respect, we're fools to waste our time on people who aren't looking out for us like they should be. All I can ever do, no matter what aspect of my life I look at, is my best. And that's what I did. That's what I do with anything that really matters to me. Whatever happens...happens. I know that's an overused phrase, but it's true. Every day, I scoff at it less and less. My job is to wake up every morning and do the best I can to make my day and yours worth living for. I'm in the midst of my most challenging semester yet, and I have so many things to look forward to when I'm not drowning myself in school work. It's time to stop looking back and start moving forward. Now, someone make me reread this post next time I lose this confidence. :P

Later!

Struggles.

      Okay, I'm struggling. In so many ways. The biggest way being that I am struggling to get anything productive done. For example, I have about 80 pages of material to read, a two page response to write (the hard part there is it's in APA...what?), and physics homework to do. Okay, so the physics homework can wait until Thursday night, but still. What am I doing instead of these things? Blogging and pretending like it's something very important that I had to get done tonight. Most likely, I will spend 30+ minutes working on this, then go to church for an hour or so, then come home and talk about all of the things I have to do, then go to bed. What the heck is wrong with me? I feel like I've spent my life savings on school supplies, but if you know of anywhere I can purchase some motivation, let me know.

      Does this ever happen to you? I mean, I'm literally sitting here refusing to do work. I am sitting here trying not to freak out about the fact that I've lost a grip on what I thought I had a grip on but never really had a grip on in the first place. Does that make sense? Yeah, I didn't expect it would. I'm the kind of person who likes to have total control of everything going on in my life. When it feels like things are going well, it's so easy to say, "Let go and let God!" Why is that so hard to say when things aren't making any sense. In my heart, I know this is just a phase. I know it's impossible to know the worth of this life if you never know the struggles of it. All I want right now is to know something. Anything, really. I want to wake up in the morning and be sure of something. 

      Today was just another day in the awful Tuesday/Thursday hellaciousness I have created for myself this semester. I know that's not a real word, but it's a made up word that perfectly describes what Tuesdays and Thursdays have become for me. After my first two classes, I was already ready for a nap. Alas, I still had to go to my two most challenging classes. Both of them drained my brain of the little juice it had left very quickly. If Brittany hadn't left her apartment open for me, I probably would have sat outside in the rain crying or something for my hour break. Instead, I got to lay on her comfy warm couch until Physics lab. Want to hear the great part about that? I now have my third consecutive super Asian TA. As if Bing and Jing didn't give me my fill, I now have Zhenyu...I think. Whatever, it'll be an experience...right?

      Thank God (literally) that Alive is tonight. I could really use some adoration time, and confession probably wouldn't be a bad idea. Actually, it would be the best thing I could do for myself right now. There's just nothing like the clean slate feeling you get after that, and my slate needs some serious cleaning right now. I know this post is a super annoying one because all I'm going is complaining, but I feel like it's something I need to write out for my own good. I promise there are happier times to come. Until then, I'll leave you with one of my favorite pictures from Kingston. Knowing I get to see these folks again in less than four months is the only thing getting me through the awful monotony of this semester's curriculum. Later!

One of my bestestestest friends.

Blah.

      My laptop is dying, so I'll make this quick. Today was nice and slow as I expect most of my Mondays will be. I got to sleep really, really late. I'm talking like, 8:30am late. Can you believe it?! My first (and only) class of the day was my only kinesiology class this semester, which is a little weird since that's my major. The teacher kept talking about how it is a "communication-intensive" course. Oh, how freaking wonderful. I thought public speaking would be more than enough, but I might as well have as many heart attacks as possible so I can enjoy the next one. I'm telling you now, next semester will consist of nothing but lecture classes where I can stay completely anonymous...and maybe an activity course or two.
      After class, I decided to grab a bite to eat before heading to work. I was lucky enough to be told I was going straight to Hell because I am not saved. Don't you just love hearing that?! When asked if I was a Christian, I responded no. I am a Christian, but my Christian bears absolutely no resemblance to the Christian that was standing there wearing signs and just dying to whack someone on the head with their Bible. Goodness knows that if I said I was Catholic they would probably spontaneously combust. Do people really respond to that kind of talk? The minute I hear one of those people talking, I shut down completely. There is absolutely nothing they can say to me that could make me stop and listen to them, especially if they're yelling (which they usually are). Whatever, I guess it's called Free Speech Alley for a reason. Luckily, I had some yummy Chick-fil-a to calm me down...and fatten me up. :)
      Work was nothing special, just a whole lot of alphabetizing and a joy ride around campus. I feel so official when I have one of those little wands that opens the gates! I wish I could own one of those things. I did come across this guy while I was filing...scary, isn't he? I'm not sure where his foot has gone.

Protecting the super-secret files.

      Sweet Mel just delivered me 1.5 chocolate chip pancakes made with love, so I think this is where I call it quits. I've got a ton of reading to do for tomorrow, joy! I promise that tomorrow's post will be much more interesting. How could it not be after five classes and some serious Jesus time? Later!

Little Momma's Birthday!

      Sorry I skipped out on posting yesterday, but I was kind of MIA from 7pm-2am. There were celebrations to be had, for goodness sake! Anyway, I spent most of yesterday being a total bum. I tend to do that when I go home. I woke up ridiculously late and stayed in my pajamas until a sinful hour of the afternoon. This was that glorious first weekend of school where you don't have anything to do that can't be put off until Sunday night, but I did bring my booksack home so I could look like I was being productive. I went to church with my mom So yeah, yesterday's daytime hours were nothing special.
      Last night, Hannah, Stew, and I went out to dinner with some other folks to celebrate our dear friend Hayley's birthday. It made me feel so freaking old! I mean seriously, we ate dinner with a bunch of nurses, married and engaged people, and even a new baby. Since when do I hang out with people who have actual lives?! After dinner, we went out to City Bar. I think that was my first time going there, and it really wasn't too bad. We ran into one of our old high school coaches, and Stew and Hayley saw their 7th grade teacher. I honestly think I would have a mild heart attack if I ever saw one of my middle school teachers in a bar, mostly because they all have kids my age or older. Anyway, we had a ton of fun, and I'm so glad Hayley got to celebrate her birthday with people who love her and have no problem making time for her in their oh so busy lives. Hehe :) Today consisted of some family time and a good three mile run before heading back to the apartment. It's funny how much I want to stay home when school is actually in session.

Wish it wasn't so dark!

Birthday girl!

      Tomorrow starts my first official week of my fourth semester. I'll actually have all of my classes instead of just two days worth. I'm still sitting at number three on the physiology waitlist, and I have about 24 hours left before I have to give up and stay in public speaking. Hopefully something changes soon! I'm excited to finally get into a routine again. I've had way too much time to think lately, and my thinking just hasn't been very productive. There's like a constant game of Pong going on in my head. You know, that black and white game where the little circle goes back and forth and you have to use your rectangle to keep it from losing the point. All day, every day, my mind goes back and forth about how I'm feeling. It's driving me crazy! I can't wait to have back a feeling of sureness and confidence, but I know that takes time. We should never have trouble remembering the last time we went a whole 24 hours without feeling down about something. That's just awful! For now, I'll just continue working on controlling my mindset every day. I have a feeling that something new is going to happen in my life soon. I mean, I've got to have something to blog about...right? Until then, you will just have to endure reading about the meaningless tasks I perform daily. Later!

Peace and Quiet.

      Sorry I went MIA yesterday. After sitting at the computer for hours reading and trying to do physics homework, I couldn't bear to stare at my screen long enough to blog. So, let me now give you the boring details. I had one of my moments in English class. My whole class is focused around hunger with a bit more of a focus on hunger in the US than in other parts of the world. We watched videos from Faces of Hunger that got me all worked up. In one video, we were presented with a statistic from the Wall Street Journal that said:

"In one year, Americans spent  $2.6 billion on bird seed. Two and a half times as much as they spent on food for the needy."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! That stat, along with the other things I learned from these videos and just from the class discussion, made me so upset. I think it was a mixture of guilt, frustration, and a few other things. Even as a college student, I could easily give money/time/resources to helping feed the needy. Easily. So, why don't I? Why don't you? My assignment for this weekend is to ask people two questions. First, how do you define hunger? Second, how big of a problem do you think hunger is in America? Well, what do you think? I have a feeling I'll end up engrossed in this class and blog about it often.
      After English, it was time for Faith and Doubt. Admittedly, the reading material for this class is going to be overwhelming at times, but I'm super excited about everything else. The teacher is really good at keeping class discussions from turning into arguments, and she's ridiculously knowledgable about the material. Right now, I'm reading about how silly Thomas Paine thinks Christianity is, and I'm finding it very interesting. If not for my faith, I would probably agree with the majority of his points. This is a class that will give me a headache, but in a really good way.
      Physics was terribly boring and I was lost the whole time, as expected. Oh yeah, and public speaking was awful, which was also expected. All morning, I was anxious about getting up in front of the class. So there I am, sitting in class five minutes before it starts, and in walks Jacob. Yes folks, my lovely ex-boyfriend (that's still really weird to type). I mean luckily we are civil and have this weird friendship thing going on, but really?! For those of you who know me well, it's no surprise that of 50ish sections, we would end up in the same one. That's the kind of luck I've been blessed with I guess. I can't help but think, "Damn, I'm glad awkward situations don't bother me." I managed to get up and talk without pulling a Mia Thermopolis (I watched Princess Diaries earlier), so I would consider it a success. I can't help but wonder why I have such a big fear of talking in front of people. It's so frustrating! I'm not shy by any means, but I'm not obnoxiously loud either. I like to think I reside in the pleasant middle zone. There's just something about standing in front of a silent group of staring people that makes me break out in a sweat! I'm still holding my breath about getting into physiology...I'm number 3 on the waitlist!
      Today was full of work, lunch with friends, and physics homework. Now, I'm back in Crowley for the weekend to celebrate my little momma Hayley's 20th birthday. Woo woo! I had dinner with my daddy, and now I'm holding down the fort until everyone gets home. After the stressful week I've had, it feels good to be at my parents' house bumming around. Tonight, I'll leave you with a picture of my famous bffl...and then she will fuss at me. Later!

Hehehehe.

Back to Work, Back to Work.

      I honestly don't think I could have dealt with any classes today, so thank goodness my only class of the day got cancelled. Tuesday really wore me out, so today I went to work to make a little moolah. It felt good to be back and doing something, but it is weird that some people have left since last semester. I worked until noon, then I went to lunch with my bro and Stew at the 459. It's weird how you get so sick of dining halls when you have a meal plan, but when it's gone you miss those crazy ladies and all of the food they cook for you. After a long lunch with them, I headed home for the day. I was hoping I could fit in a nap, but I decided to go for a run with Melanie and Madeline instead. We decided to do a lap around the lake, and it was pretty much the easiest run ever. The weather was just so perfect, and there is always something to look at when you're running out there. It's so much better than running 30 something laps around the indoor track!

My course for the day.

      It felt so good to feel good after running. For once there was no point where I was ready to die! I did almost get attacked by a dog, but whatever. After the run, I blew more money on useless books and read the first five chapters of The Age of Reason. I've never been good at reading books written before the 20th century, but I'm trying so hard to pay attention to it. It's...interesting. Yeah, I'll stick with that description for now. Hopefully I don't find it so outrageous that I can't continue reading. Anyway, the highlight of my day was going to dinner with my dear friend, R.D. When I first came to LSU, I signed up for a mentor. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I got really lucky. R.D. and I hit it off instantly and have stayed friends through our busy lives. He was so helpful during my clueless freshman days, and now I consider him a very good friend that I was lucky enough to get paired up with. We headed to George's for dinner which is always delicious. It's this hole-in-the-wall place where you write down your order on a piece of paper and they yell at you whenever it's ready. There are dollar bills all over the walls, and cryptic messages from good times written all over the tables. It was great to catch up with R.D., and I like to think that we gave each other a push to get through the rest of our week's activities.

      Speaking of the rest of the week....I'm ready for it to be over. As much as I hate going to 7:30 classes, they do mean I don't have to go to class on Fridays. Woohoooooo! Seeing as how I'll be going nonstop from 7:30-4:30 tomorrow, it'll be nice not to think too hard on Friday. Tonight, I think I'll shower and watch some Friends. I do that a lot, don't I? There's just no better way to wind down. Later!